Be Your Own Champion! How To Stand Up For Yourself
We all know how it goes in stories: just when all seems lost and the villain is bearing down, the hero swoops in and saves the day. Music swells, the monsters are defeated, and everyone (except the villain) lives happily ever after. It's a comforting ending, but how often does it happen in real life? When your boss yells at you over something that isn't your fault, or your doctor doesn't take you seriously, or your friends take advantage of you, you may wonder, When does my hero come in to save the day?
But there's good news! There is a hero who can stand up for you when life gets tough. They might need a little bit of training and confidence to get there, but once they're ready, there's no one better. This hero knows you better than anyone, and has the bravery and power to stand up for you when you need it most. And just like the best superheroes, their identity might surprise you. Behind the mask, that hero is none other than you yourself!
Learning how to be your own champion and stand up for yourself is an essential skill for any go-getter, and it's something anyone can do. So put on your cape and get ready to fly, heroes in training, as we go over a few skills to stand up for yourself:
#1 - Practice, Practice, Practice
It's hard to be vulnerable and say what you feel. Especially if you're a people pleaser or if you're not used to not feeling like you can be honest, this can be an intimidating skill to learn. The key is the same as all skills, though: practice! Start small. Challenge yourself to be more transparent and honest with those you trust most, people who you know will be supportive of you. Then you can work towards being more honest with strangers, being more honest with distant family, and being more honest at work.
This doesn't mean that you have to share every thought that pops into your head, especially if it isn't helpful to the present situation. No one is suggesting you go up to your boss and say, "I can't stand that stupid tie you wear." But think about the things you're smiling through and burying your feelings that are making your job that much harder. Once you've had some practice, you should be able to tell your boss, "Hey, I think my skills could be better used in this area" or "I'm feeling a little overloaded, could we do something to share the load?" It all starts with taking small steps to be more authentic and honest with those around you.
#2 - Don't React To Aggression
You want to learn to be more assertive, but that shouldn't cross into aggression. Unfortunately, sometimes when you start to stick up for yourself, those around you may react poorly.
This is called an "extinction burst." If someone is used to taking advantage of you, and then you put your foot down and tell them they can't do that anymore, they may feel thrown off. They may even feel defensive, especially if they didn't realize they were taking advantage of you. This means that sometimes when you stick up for yourself, the person on the other side of the conversation might go into attack mode.
The best thing you can do in these situations, as hard as it is, is not to react to their aggression. Stay calm, and continue to assert your point. You can even walk away if need be - as long as it's clear that the conversation will be readdressed when the other person is calmer. Remind yourself that their aggression is more about them than it is about you. Hold your ground - you got this!
#3 - Know Your Values and Stick To Them
You've probably heard the phrase, "If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything." But it can be hard to stick to your values, especially when you're pressured to let them slide. Compromise is great when it comes to relationships or problem-solving a solution. Just make sure not to compromise your values. You don't have to shove them down anyone's throat or treat others as worse people than you because of your values. You simply have to know what your values are and know what lines you're willing to cross and what you're not.
#4 - Just Ask!
Want that promotion, or that interview with your favorite podcast, or that month off to work on a passion project? Just ask for them! As people, we often talk ourselves into believing that the things we want are unreasonable or inappropriate to ask for. The truth is that asking rarely does any harm. The worst that can happen is that you'll be told no - and that's actually not such a bad thing!
You should actually want to hear "no" occasionally, because it will get you into the practice of hearing the word without internalizing it. The more you're able to stomach rejection, the less you have to fear when asking for the things you want. And if you continue to ask, eventually you're going to hear the word "yes." So don't wait for the perfect moment when all the stars align. Just ask!
Motivation Depot is here to give you that confidence boost you need! Whether it's delicious coffee to put a little pep in your step, inspirational tees to remind you how great you are, or a planner to help you organize your goals, we've got you covered! Think of us as your trusty sidekick - now get out there and save the day!
