The Magic of Self-Motivation To Reach Your Dreams: My Author Journey

My name is Alex. For as long as I can remember, I dreamed of becoming an author. I wrote off-and-on since childhood, and consistently throughout my adulthood. But it was not until I was 32 that I published my first novel, The Wounds of Wisdom. Before that point, I had to go on a journey as long, perilous, and magical as all those adventure stories I loved to read.

There were times when I thought I would never reach the end. But now looking back, I know that I wouldn't trade any of it. So today, I wanted to share my author journey with you, one that has spanned most of my life.

Catching the Writing Bug

I was raised by two book lovers who instilled that love in their children. Sitting on my parents' bed with my brother and sister while my father The Hobbit and Harry Potter were family traditions. I took in so many stories that when I started crafting my own, it just felt natural. Like crafting my favorite book that no one else had written yet.

The first time I remember writing a story of my own was in a third grade composition class. I wrote about the mystery of a neighbor's dog who ran away, and my parents and teachers praised me for my use of dialogue in the story. From then on, I filled my mom's old unused notebooks with stories about magic schools, dramatic romances between elves, and whatever came into my head. At first, those stories read as little more than ripoffs of my favorite books. But it didn't take long to begin to come up with ideas of my own.

The Three Chapter Curse

At some point - likely while I was still very young, since I've always been ambitious - I started to plan how I would publish one of my books one day. I told myself I was going to get published when I was even younger than Christopher Paolini (of Eragon fame, who wrote his first book at age 15. And so, of course, I started to approach all of my stories with that goal: each story was the one. You know, the book that would catapult me to author stardom.

I think that level of seriousness actually did a disservice to my young writer self. Instead of exploring the kinds of stories I wanted to tell and having fun with my passion, I started treating it like a job - while I was still in middle school. I think I put too much pressure on those fledgling stories, which is probably how I started to run into the "three chapter curse."

The pattern was always the same: I got an exciting new story idea and immediately began to write it. Around two chapters in, the ideas started to get away from me, scattering to the winds. I tried to catch them, but the wind was too fast. Around the third chapter, I gave up and started a new story, telling myself I would return to my old story later. I never did.

The three chapter curse stayed with me for some time, and I think now it was because I hadn't taken the time to do much reflection on the kind of writer I was. What did I like to focus on in my stories? Did I work better plotting or writing by the seat of my pants? I didn't know. All I knew was that I loved writing, and I wanted to get published one day soon.

Just Draft It! And Toxic Perfectionism

The thing that finally broke me out of the three chapter curse was National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo. This yearly event challenged writers to write 50,000 words of a novel within just the 30 days of November. So not the easiest month to write a book. I was in college when I learned about NaNoWriMo, so there was prep for finals, Thanksgiving festivities, and with that beautiful fall weather, who wants to stay inside writing a book?

Well. I did. So I tried. The first year, I utterly failed. The second year, I had surgery two days before it began and never recovered. The third year, as a college dropout working to save money and move to the city, I decided to try again. That year, I did it. I was right down to the wire, 11:30pm on November 30th, but I finished 50,000 words of my novel. A novel I never touched or thought of again, but it didn't matter because I did it.

And I learned something, too, about the way that my desire for my book to be perfect was holding me back. Every time I wrote before, I imagined the story flowing out of me fully formed and easily, like magic. When that didn't happen, I grew discouraged and gave up. Of course I wanted my book to be perfect! I wanted to be a bestselling author with a movie deal and book tours and and and - but in my pursuit of perfect, I never actually got things done.

One thing that NaNoWriMo frequently reminded participants was that first drafts were supposed to be, well, crap. Terry Pratchett once said, "The first draft is just you telling yourself the story." I needed to learn to let go of my expectations for the first draft. Let it be messy. Change names and settings halfway through! Figure out how the characters talk and try different things! Because the thing about writing is that there are so many edits, and you'll have plenty of opportunities to clean up the mess.

Finding Community

I've always been an extrovert, but growing up writing was a solitary experience. Sure, I shared my stories with my friends and family and they were supportive. But there were few people that I could talk to about writing. About the highs and lows and the whole mess of the process. There were no nearby workshops, no writers groups beyond a small club with my two best friends and I in high school that lasted about one semester.

As I became a young adult, got my first apartment, and started to write more seriously, I again felt that sense of isolation. This time, however, I had resources. The internet for one thing, and a larger and more creative city for another. I started going to write-ins. I would meet at coffee shops with other writers. Sometimes we would actually write, and other times we would get too excited talking to each other about our stories for hours. But whatever happened, they understood.

I formed a regular writing group with a handful of people from those write-ins, and joined a few online groups for writers, as well. I also found a Dungeons & Dragons group. D&D, I found, had all of my favorite elements of storytelling but with a group of people. We created characters, took them on relationships, and formed relationships. And many of the friends I made in my D&D group, whether they were writers or something else, were themselves creative!

Finding writing communities was a game changer for me as a writer. It not only gave me people to bounce ideas around with, but it inspired me to dive deeper into my craft. Nothing has been better for my characterization than D&D, and nothing has been better for incorporating things like themes and pacing than beta reading for other writers. In this adventure, other writers made up the fellowship that I traveled with on our adventure.

The Depths of Compare

Years passed. I kept doing NaNoWriMo and wrote in between. I started dozens of stories. Some I finished, most I didn't. I got older. And I still felt so far away from my dream of being a published writer.

Remember how when I was a kid I used to dream about being the youngest famous author? By the time I was in my mid-twenties, I developed a toxic habit of comparing my age to the age of published authors. I would find a new author I loved and search their Wikipedia page for their age when they published their first book. I thought, "I have x amount of years to publish and still be younger than them." Then that time would pass and I would beat myself up for "failing."

On top of that, friends started to get published. I was happy for them, but I also felt like I was falling behind. Their books were on shelves and I hadn't even queried anything yet.

Comparison can absolutely kill your writing motivation. "What's the point," I thought, "if I can't be as good as them? They published this book when they were 26 years old and it's so beautiful and all of my stories are so bad." It took me a while to realize that everyone has their own path. I didn't have to be a young wunderkind of an author. What I did need to do was commit myself to my love for my stories and commit myself to my own journey, wherever that took me.

It wasn't easy to climb out of those unhealthy comparison habits. I still fall into it sometimes. But I knew that this was what I wanted to do, so what choice did I have? Even though it felt as though I would never have an idea that would follow through. And then one day, in my own time, I did.

The Winds of Inspiration

The story idea that became The Wounds of Wisdom did not come to me at the time I would have chosen. I had just gone through a horrible friend group implosion, and I was living in the cramped spare room of my best friend's parents' house as we prepared to move to another city. We were in the middle of a pandemic. I felt adrift. But I had also begun a new D&D game, and my character in that game really called to me.

Her name was Celin, a 17 year old paladin with hopes of becoming a knight. She put on a face of being all sunshine and positivity, regardless of how she felt on the inside. She always offered to help her friends and often overextended herself. And she had a budding romance with the guard of her kingdom's crown prince. I remember once after a session going to my best friend, who was the DM of the game, and saying, "Hey wouldn't it be fun if this happened with Celin and the prince and the guard?" We played around a bit, but days later, I couldn't get the thought out of my head.

Well, what if I made up my own prince and guard and my own kingdom, and I just wrote a story? Just to see where it would go? It might not go anywhere, but it would at least be fun.

The process began much like my other stories. The first part was the easiest, and then it started sinking in the middle. But I had learned to push through that point, so I did. I shared excerpts with my online writing groups and got positive feedback. And the longer it went on, the more I started to realize this might be the one. Because even in the moments when I felt most frustrated, I still had so much fun writing the story. I still loved my characters so much that I couldn't wait to come back to them. That feeling never really faded. Not when I finished the book. Not when I started editing. Not when I showed it to other people.

I needed to put this story out into the world not because the world needed to see it but because I loved it so much. So I decided I would.

The Decision To Self-Publish

When I was younger and pictured my publishing career, it was always traditional publishing. For those not in the industry, that means I would submit my manuscript to an agent who would help me polish it and then submit it to publishing houses that might be interested in publishing it. Traditional publishing means you have a giant, established team behind your back. You have a better chance of getting your book in bookstores. You have a good chance of movie deals, foreign translations, book tours, and all that.

Self-publishing, on the other hand? Well, it has kind of a weird reputation. It's gotten better as self-published books have begun to move into the mainstream. People are beginning to see just how many good self-published books are out there - finally. But even without the reputation that self-published books are "sloppy" and "amateurish," it's hard work! You have to pay for everything up front. You have to run a business essentially, when I just wanted to write a book. Worst of all, you have to be the one to make the final decision. You have to be the one to say when the book is finished. I didn't think I could do that.

Plus I really, really wanted to see my book in bookstores.

But around the time I was writing The Wounds of Wisdom, I started to have second thoughts about traditional publishing. I wasn't happy with some of the choices traditional publishers were making or how editors and agent's assistants in that industry were being treated. And the idea of having more control over the way my book would be released sounded more and more appealing. As a self-published author, I could choose my own cover. I could decide how I wanted it to be marketed. I wouldn't have to change my title, which I loved. Not every traditionally published author can say the same.

It wasn't what I originally dreamed of. It would be much harder to get my book into bookstores, and it probably wouldn't ever become a movie. But I found it was what I wanted. I wanted to take control of my adventure, rather than have someone else tell me how it was going. So I took another plunge. I decided to self-publish.

Dreams Come True...And You Keep Going

I released The Wounds of Wisdom in May of 2023. Even though my dream of becoming a writer had changed in shape many times since I was 8 years old, I think little Alex would be happy with the way things turned out. I found my own cover artist - Emily's World of Design - and got the cover of my dreams. I mean, look at it!

I may not have my book in bookstores yet, but it's available in my local library system, which I find even cooler. People read my book and talk to me about their favorite characters and their theories for what will happen in the next books. And I'm proud of what I was able to do through my own will, by pushing through all the hard days and all the comparison and clinging to the love of writing that brought me here in the first place.

But here's the thing. For me, this is just the beginning of a new adventure. This is book two; my time before my first book was published was the setup, and this is the book where the plot really pops off. Because now I get to keep going. I write the next book in the series, and the next. And when the series is finished, I put out a new series. To some, this might sound daunting. After all, getting here wasn't easy, and now I have to do it again? But there's nothing else I'd rather be doing.

Alex Roma is a blogger for Motivation Depot and an indie fantasy author, publishing under Alexandra Roma. She lives in Minnesota with her best friend and their three furbabies.